50 Simple Rules
by 0HeartShapedBox0
Summary: Rogue, Amara, Jubilee and Rahne need to find a way to prevent bad behaviour in their rooms. What better to do that than to construct a list?


Members of the mutant species are allowed to enter this room as long as they obey these 50 easy to understand, easy to follow rules. Any breaking or bending of these rules or any defacing of this sacred sheet of paper can and will be punished by a fee of $5 to each of the following females: Amara Aquila, Rahne Sinclair, Jubilation Lee and Anna Marie.

1. These rules apply to everyone in the X-Mansion except for Storm, because she would lightning-fry our butts if we even tried to force her out.

2. Any other females are allowed to ignore the rules if we think they deserve to be with us or if they bribe us with candy.

3. Rule 2 does not apply to Jean.

4. There is no way whatsoever that Jean will ever, EVER be allowed in a room with this sacred piece of paper on the door.

5. If Jean does, she will be fined with $50 to each of the four awesome girls and will supply them with a sack full of candy each.

6. If Scott breaks any of these rules, he must pay all 4 girls $5 each AND he must be a slave to each of the 4 girls for the rest of the day.

7. If Piotr, Sam or Logan enter a room with this sacred piece of paper on the door, they must be prepared to get ambushed by either hugs or angry ducks.

8. Amara, Jubilee, Rogue and Rahne are legends. No one is to argue with this fact.

9. Amara, Jubilee, Rogue and Rahne must be addressed as "Master", "Beautiful One", "Mysterious Leader of Hope and Wonder", "Leopluradon" or "God".

10. Everyone who enters this room must be well-acquainted with the fact that Jean is a terrorist.

11. Terrorists are not permitted to enter this room.

12. Jean's a terrorist, thus she is not permitted to enter.

13. No one is permitted to say "You're gay" as this is homophobic. We're talking about you, Roberto.

14. Mystique is evil. There's no arguing with this fact.

15. Mystique is a terrorist.

16. As we know, terrorists are bad and are not permitted to enter this room.

17. Therefore, Mystique is not allowed to enter this room.

18. She can enter if Rogue is not in the room.

18.5. She can NOT enter under ANY circumstances!

19. Jamie is not to eat candy.

20. No one is allowed to give Jamie candy.

21. Giving Jamie candy will result in him eating it.

Jamie does eat candy, someone must lock him in either Logan's room, the broom closet or the Danger Room before the sugar kicks in.

23. We do not want Jamie in the room with the sacred piece of paper on the door while he's on a sugar high.

24. Rahne does not smell like wet dog.

25. If anyone says this, Rahne will jump in the pool, get out and then shake water all over you.

26. THEN we'll see who smells like wet dog.

27. It will not be Rahne.

28. Logan shall not refer to any of the Goddesses as "Sparks", "Furball", "Firebug" or "Stripes".

29. Ray is not to laugh at rule 28.

30. Candy is not just a food, it is a way of life, and it shall be treated that way in any room with this sacred piece of paper on the door.

31. Urinating out of the window is disgusting and against the rules.

32. We all know what happened last time.

33. Scott was not impressed.

34. If Jean is standing under the window, you can do whatever you want.

35. Access to any bathroom within the room guarded by the sacred piece of paper on the door will only be granted by a bag of candy.

36. Please put the toilet seat down once you're done.

37. Bobby is not allowed into the bathroom.

38. Jubilee has not forgiven Bobby for freezing her bathroom.

39. She still cannot believe she had to ask Amara to make her a path to the shower, only to discover that the water pipes were frozen.

40. We are never letting Bobby into any of our bathrooms ever again.

41. Scott is not hot, and if anyone thinks he is, we do not want to hear it.

42. Another reason why Jean is not allowed in this room under any circumstances.

43. We do realize that "Hot" and "Scott" do rhyme, but rhymes like to lie.

44. Rahne does not eat dog biscuits or Scooby-Snacks.

45. Ok, she did, but that was only once!

46. Every person must be fully clothed before entering a room with the sacred piece of paper on it.

47. Fully clothed means something on your torso, something on your legs and socks.

48. A toga does not count.

49. We're talking to you, Bobby.

50. Rogue, Amara, Rahne and Jubilee are the best people in the whole entire world.

"Do you guys think that's enough?" Amara asked her peers.

"Sure." Rogue replied.

"Where are we going to hang it up, though?" Rahne sighed.

"How about the Mansion's front door?" Jubilee smiled cheekily.

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**Please review! Hopefully this wasn't too terrible.**


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